By: Cece Han
Edited by: Victoria Percival
Situationships: murky, middle-ground relationships which promise the benefits of physical and emotional intimacy without the responsibilities associated with commitment. With the increasing popularity of situationships, one has to wonder how they have begun to change traditional dating narratives in today’s age. Research has shown that compared to older generations, the way in which Gen Z seems to navigate relationships often involves a gray area falling somewhere in between being committed to a partner and staying casual. Young adults generally seem to fear commitment, wanting to make the most of their youth and prioritize their own goals over committing to someone else. While this form of liberation in relationships has allowed for personal relationships to thrive, as seen in Amanda Huhman, who states that her lifestyle and career is more suited towards a situationship, it has also sparked a decline in the number of young people getting married.
The appeal of situationships in the younger generations stems from a sentiment of living in the present, as evidenced by Gen Z’s fear of missing out on other experiences. Instead of worrying about where a relationship will go, young adults are choosing to focus on an agreement that works for their current situation. This approach is changing the traditional dating narrative because it challenges the “relationship escalator”, which tells us that dating needs to be linear and result in marriage. Though this may have been the playbook for past generations, modern social implications weaken its relevance to the lives of younger individuals. Dating apps and social media have rendered the dating scene chaotic, and Gen Zers, many of whom are university-age, find themselves eager to embrace university life and too busy for a committed relationship. As a result, it seems that situationships, which give the opportunity to explore romance and sex without derailing their other ambitions, are an optimal option for young adults.
There also seems to be a general lack of emphasis on looking for a relationship in the younger generation. Young people are prioritizing other factors such as their careers and financial stability, so a committed relationship becomes a secondary consideration. Associate Professor of Sociology at Tulane University, Lisa Wade, says that most young people categorize relationships as a distraction from personal goals, fearing that entering a relationship will derail their progress.
As a result of Gen Z’s avoidance to commitment and prioritization of self, the marriage rates among young people are plummeting. Not only are young people avoiding relationships, but their views on parenthood are also filled with greater apprehension. Young people are uncertain about their thoughts on marriage and children. In particular, young women seem to doubt the benefits that marriage and children can offer them. A study has found that only 45% of young women aged 18-34 wish to have children at some point in the future. Current societal culture also places major emphasis on the self, with many young people asking themselves: will marriage make me happy? There is less societal pressure to get married as there once was in our parents’ generations, and the current dating culture also does little to assure young people of the benefits of marriage and long-term commitment. With the rise of situationships, the younger generation does not seem to be cultivating a culture where long-term committed relationships lead to marriage and children.
It is not only societal factors that are playing a role in the decline of marriages amongst young people, but also economic and political factors. Today’s unstable political landscape and rising levels of inflation has produced a sense of insecurity in life that makes young people afraid of committing to any major life decisions, such as marriage. Xiujian Peng, a senior research fellow at Australia’s Victoria University says that when people are not confident about the future, it makes it harder for them to want to settle down. And for those who do decide to take that step, the financial strain of getting married cannot be ignored. Research shows that the average American wedding costs around $30,000-$50,000, and in the age of skyrocketing housing prices and job scarcity prioritizing commitment to another person before being self-sufficient is unreasonable The old social norms of strict monogamy and traditionalism are ending, with the emergence of situationships creating a space where romance and sex can be explored with no expectation of deeper commitment from either side. The rise of situationships has brought with it a shift in attitude toward marriage amongst young people, with marriage no longer being seen as an economic necessity and societal requirement, but rather a choice—one that is often turned down.
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